Straight Springs on the Couch
Three straight springs without a playoff game. After sixteen straight playoffs. That's not a streak ending, kid, that's a cliff.
Straight Losses to the Islanders in 2019
Swept four-nothin' by the Islanders in 2019. Four games, zero wins. I've had longah arguments with a parkin' meter.
First-Round Exits
Four first-round exits since the Cup. They keep showin' up to the party and leavin' before the cake.
Straight Playoff Series Lost
Six straight playoff series lost. They won one in 2018 and they've been losin' every one since.
Failed Attempts at Another Cup
Six playoff runs since the Cup, six ways to lose. Consistency is a virtue, sort of.
Teams Better Than the Penguins
Seven other franchises have won a Cup since the Penguins did. Seven, kid. Even Florida, and Florida won two.
Regulation Losses in 2024–25
Thirty-six regulation losses in 2024–25 and eighty points. A guy at my bah has a bettah record against the dartboard.
Days Since Their Last Stanley Cup
More than three thousand days since the Cup. The counter's goin' up faster than the ticket prices.
Penguin Tears
Cold as ice, wet as the Allegheny. Penguins tears, kid.
Participation Trophies
- Missed the Playoffs Three Straight Seasons (2022–23 to 2024–25), Ending a 16-Season Playoff Streak
- Swept 0-4 by the Islanders in the 2019 First Round
- Lost Six Straight Playoff Series Since Winning One in 2018
- Finished 7th in the Metropolitan Division With 80 Points in 2024–25
- Lost the 2025–26 First Round to the Flyers in Six Games